christmas cranberry moscow mules

That's right...I've got jokes :)

My go-to drink on a night out is a moscow mule, and my go-to drink while running errands with the kids is a water with cranberry and lime! So, when we had the murder mystery party I thought it would be fun to do a holiday mix-up of the two- a cranberry moscow mule.

The recipe is quite simple- all you need to do is make up some cranberry simple syrup and add it to your favorite moscow mule recipe. I like my mules a little sweet, so check out the recipe below for how I achieve that!  

Cranberry Moscow Mules

1 oz. cranberry simple syrup (I used this easy recipe- you just need cranberries, sugar and water!)

2 oz. vodka

3 oz. ginger beer

3 oz. Sprite

1-2 lime wedges

Ice cubes

In a copper mug, pour vodka, ginger beer, and Sprite. Add ice cubes and stir. Pour cranberry simple syrup over the ice, and squeeze a wedge or two of lime into the mixture. Enjoy! It's so refreshing!

a day in the mind of a waiting adoptive mom

Beeeepppp…..Beeeeeeepppppp……that alarm is always too early and too loud. I lean over to silence it and breathe a deep yawn. With my head still on the pillow, I realize it’s a new day.

Lord, can it be today?

We’ve been in our adoption process for almost 5 years now. For much of that time, I knew that there was a very slim chance we’d get to see our daughter’s face that day- so it was easier to push that anticipation to the future- telling myself that we were not in the season to expect that just yet. I could still pray, be satisfied knowing God’s plan is perfect…anticipating that time when “it could be any day now”.

And now, for the past three months…every day of those months…“it could be any day now”. We are anticipating that moment when we will get a phone call- that leads to an email- which contains my daughter’s face. This part- the “any day now” part- has not been what I expected.

“Mooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyy….I want cereal! Moooooommmmmmyyy!!” Instead of hopping out of bed, I pretend that they really aren’t there and beg my pillow for a few more minutes of sleep. Thankfully, my husband arises to feed the hungry and make coffee.

Kids are sent to school, husband heads to work. It’s finally quiet and I have some head space. Time to spend with Jesus. We talk and I’m honest. I worry that there is something he’s waiting on me to “figure out” before we get that call. Something I can control or fix before it happens. Ha! Why are you always grasping for that control, Lissa?!?

And he tells me, “Child, I love you. Rest in my timing. Her redemption is coming. She will be home in my perfect time." So, I ask again that our phone call would come. Can it be today, Lord? I pray about the other hard things in my world- things that seem so much bigger than our adoption. Gracefully, my Savior hears it all. 

Work begins for the day and takes over my brain waves. Emails, texts, images to edit. It’s family photo season and as I look at the sweet faces of the families I photograph I wonder, “What will ours look like next year? This time last year I was sure there’d be another face in our photo…”

During my efforts to lessen the chaos of my email inbox, I see an email from our adoption agency. Could this be it?!? And maybe I just missed the call?!? Hurriedly, I open the email. It’s just a monthly program update. It’s nice, and encouraging, but not the email I really want today.

The email prompts me to check our agency’s private waiting child website. There, I can see the faces of the children recently matched, as well as some who are still waiting for their families. It is exciting and heartbreaking- in some of their faces I can imagine my own daughter’s, and seeing some my heart breaks knowing that they wait still- and that we are not the family for him or her. I should be praying over this list. All of these children are in a wait, too. It’s not just me. And I have a husband to hug, and babies to hug. I’m ok. Lord, bring these kids a family.

Before I know it, it’s time for my daily school pick up parade. I pull up to my daughter’s daycare and jump out of the car because as usual, I am riiiight on the edge of being late. As I approach the door, a few Taiwanese mothers stand talking as their children play nearby. What will they think when I have a baby in my arms that looks more like them than me? Will they ask about her? And how will I respond? I’ve never spoken to these women before, but I have gazed upon their beautiful children more than once, thinking of my own beautiful Asian. We do not yet have any close friends who are Asian- though we are dying to find some…but what do you say? Hi, our daughter is coming from China and will you be our Asian friend? Really, Lissa?!? I roll my eyes at my inner thoughts as I open the glass doors of the building. 

Daughter in tow, I hop back into the car, and I’ve got a voicemail on my phone from a friend. She’s just checking on me. Tells me she’s praying for that baby to come. It is sweet- because I know she knows. Her adopted baby girl is now approaching 3 years old and is absolutely beautiful and full of just the sass and flavor God knew my friend could mother well. Don’t forget, Lissa, she waited too- her daughter is your reminder. I haven’t forgotten you.

My littlest and I head to my son’s school to pick him up. As we wait for the 1st graders to file out of the school building, I chat with a mom friend who happens to be holding a very tiny, very new foster daughter in her arms. She asks about our adoption process and I have no real news to tell her. I love that she asks- that she cares- but I wish I had something new to say today. Her family has been fostering for about a year now and I have seen several sweet children in her arms during that time. The vast differences of our current journey with international adoption versus the rhythms of foster care hit me. While we wait, she has babies in her arms. When we bring a baby home, it is permanent. When they welcome one, there is no promise of permanency. Still, both take care of children in need. Both are a means to a family. We have so much in common and yet so many differences. 

My son smiles as he approaches us. We wave goodbye to teachers and friends, and head to the car. Loading my two and getting them buckled amidst school pick up traffic proves to be more challenging than anticipated. How in the world am I going to do this with three kids?!? Ugh. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. 

The next hour or so if full of homework and play, snacks and tying up loose ends from my work day. Before I know it, it’s 5:00. Our adoption agency is closed for the day. Ok, another day done. No call. That’s ok. Maybe tomorrow. Just be where you are and enjoy your family.

We eat and my husband and I talk about our day and discuss plans for the weeks and months ahead. Will we be able to make that trip? There is still so much in the air. We can’t make plans too far in advance. We don’t know when that call will come. We don’t know when we will travel to pick up a new daughter. But there are still schedules, and jobs and trips in the midst…and we can’t just stop living…

We clean up, do the bath time and bedtime routine. Our youngest is 2 1/2, and still wants to be rocked to sleep. I’m ok with it- because it’s as much for me as it is for her. I can’t rock my baby in China right now. But I am so very thankful for this one I hold in our warm house, snuggled under her blanket. I turn on our songs and we sing as we rock. 

Take courage, my heart, stay steadfast, my soul- He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting

Hold onto your hope, as your triumph unfolds- He’s never failing, He’s never failing

("Take Courage" from the Bethel Starlight album)

One daughter in my arms, and one half a world away. Both in the protective and loving arms of my Father. It’s now 8:15 p.m., which means that China is waking up- men and women are doing their morning exercises in the park, maybe my daughter is eating breakfast. Maybe she was done with that hours ago and now she’s playing. Maybe she is crying or being held my a nanny, or a foster mother…I don’t know. And I won’t know…and maybe I’ll never know. But that’s ok. God’s promise is good and He has her right now, just like he has me. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new chance we will get that call. 

Lord, can it be tomorrow?

If you follow me on Instagram, you know I've been in the process of knitting a quilt for our adopted daughter. I put the project down for a couple of years and have recently picked it back up- maybe as a coping mechanism?!? Here's to hoping I can actually finish it. Either way, it helps. :)

my wonder women tribe

You guys, Shawn and I just saw the new movie Wonder Woman. I know- #latetotheparty...but, kids. 

It is literally 12:00 a.m. and I am ready to hit the gym. I can't be the only woman who just wanted to go kick some ass after watching that, right?! Simply. Amazing. 

I loved so much about the movie- there is not one aspect that I felt was ill-conceived or executed- and I am NOT a typical superhero movie lover. I can't even tell you the last superhero movie I saw- but Wonder Woman was just awesome. 

Enough about the movie. This post really isn't about that. This post is about my friends. You see, somehow on my wandering train of thought, the movie got me to thinking about real-life wonder women. I've got to believe that the main reason Wonder Woman (the movie) has been so popular since it debuted is because every woman wants to be her. And why not? She is a total badass.

But I started thinking about my friend group. I have such an interesting array of friends- some I've shared years of memories with. Some I've grown very close very quickly with. Others that I don't typically see eye to eye with yet we still need each other. And I realized just how many Wonder Women I get to be around, day by day.

I have a friend who prays so consistently for me that she will check in on me just to let me know she is still interceding for me- even after I've already given up on it and stopped even talking to God about it.

I have a friend who devotes at least half her week to pouring meaning and purpose (and food and other necessities) into kids who literally do not have any real understanding of family or unconditional love.

I have a friend who confronts conflict like it is something to be glared at, worked out, and once it's all over, smiled at with a "good game" pat on the back.

I have a friend who has witnessed friends betray her without apology, and yet she still persists in being genuine, graceful, and true to herself and Jesus.

I have a friend who chooses to hope and speak gospel truth in the face of infertility and purposefully loves on many kids each week (including my own).

I have a friend who isn't afraid to love a little girl that needs it- even though her foster daughter's future is still unknown.

I have a friend who isn't afraid to say "depression" or "anxiety"- no matter what uninformed misunderstandings it may bring (including my own- can we add forgiveness as another attribute as well?)

I have a friend who isn't afraid to leap- and change all of her life circumstances to do just what God has called her to do.

I have a friend who chooses to live uncomfortably- to raise her children in a new and different culture- just so that they might meet a few who need to have their lives changed forever.

Y'all, I could go on and on- the truth is, most of the incredible women I get to be around day in and day out are undeniably brave overcomers. They choose to do the good thing even when it's hard. And that is so stinking beautiful. 

Proverbs 31:17 (the Virtuous Woman passage) says: 

“She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. ”

After seeing Wonder Woman, how appropriate is that?!? Regardless of the battles we are fighting, it takes a warrior to win the battle. It takes a Wonder Woman- and it doesn't take much to recognize how each friend is a Wonder Woman in her own right- every single day. 

Makes me thankful for my tribe of believing women- and more encouraged to continue to "gird myself with strength" in my own battles. What's so incredible is that the movie I watched tonight IS real, and is playing out right before our eyes. Yes, I do wish I had a cool sword, ridiculously gorgeous fishtail braided hair and a truth lasso (I mean, how amazing would that be to use on a 6 year old boy who loves to...shall we say...alter the truth?!?)- but I do have my own, very real weapon in the God whom I know goes to battle for me (Deut. 1:30). And, if you're a woman of faith, you do too. 

Thanks Wonder Woman. Maybe I'll braid my hair tomorrow.

life lessons almost a decade later

Wow, you guys- what a wonderful weekend we have had! Our church hosted a bunch of teenagers for a Disciple Now weekend and our youth pastor and friend, Brandon, booked Shawn's old band, A Road Less Traveled (I guess they still have a FB page!), to play worship, as well as another great friend, Jason Bishop to speak. It was especially neat for me because it had been a few years since all of us had been able to get together like that. 

This photo is missing mark morgan (and his wife liz), who played guitar with arlt in the later years, and several volunteer roadies and crew who we get to call friends. :) i was just thankful we got one iphone photo with all these faces in it!

It's hitting me now that sometimes you don't realize how sweet a season is until it is over. For over 10 years, Shawn pursued music with a few friends, and none of us would have guessed what God would do that little pocket of time. I'm not sure I'm the right one to write about this, really- because I was never actually in the band, but since Shawn and I started dating in high school, I sort of just stuck around, getting to watch from the sidelines- and I'm thankful for that unique vantage point.

It's not often that you get to live life with the same few people (who you aren't already related to) for almost a decade. And when I say "live life", I mean waking up next to your husband on a rumbling RV at 2 am to the sound of metal music blaring...because it's Kuhrt's turn to drive. I'll also never forget washing my hair at midnight in a Wal-Mart bathroom somewhere in Tennessee with one of my best friends and another "band wife", Shanna. :) I'll admit, there were times when it didn't feel like a "get to", but more like a "had to". Collectively, we went through college, silly part-time jobs, the rise and fall of MySpace, breakups, late-night practices where nothing really gets accomplished, music videos, band managers, tours, many, many miles and even each other's weddings. It didn't ever hit me that "big" life things were happening in the midst of the gigs, weekends away, and frivolous arguments about how the merch table looked. There were many years where the guys wondered if they were ever going to "make it". Now I think we all realize that they were already there. 

Looking at everyone today- the guys, their wives and kids, other special friends who have influenced our faith in the past decade- I almost couldn't handle it. It was too overwhelming. I cried, because seeing their faces made me realize just what God has done for me- someone on the sidelines- through them all...it's still too amazing for me to grasp.  I could never fully express what these people mean to me- because it has almost taken 5 or 6 years for me to really understand the role that each of them have played in my life. Because of them, my worship is deeper, my thankfulness is greater, and my gumption is stronger. I've seen prayer at work, forgiveness happen, and God show up when you least expect Him.

I am so proud of my friends. I hate that we aren't all huddled together in one physical location anymore. But as much as I would love that comfort, I am glad we are not. Because amazingly- and this is just simply Jesus and how He works- we are all doing new things. Things that God has planned for us. Life has definitely become more complicated. A large part of me just misses those simpler times- and I know I've got on my rose-colored glasses today- but our problems seem so much bigger now. We are no longer 19 and 20 year olds who enjoy going out for dinner at 11:30 (because now that hour of night is reserved for sleep or Netflix binges).

But in my heart, I know and can trust that where we are (albeit not together) is good. Why? Because God has proven Himself in every season of my life. Jason Bishop, the speaker for the weekend, and his wife, Caryn, started our first small group about 10 years ago when he realized we were a bunch of 20-somethings without much focus. The message that Jason spoke today was on facing our giants and preparing a way for those who will come after us. I know he had probably tailored it for the teenagers who had been at Disciple Now- but how fitting for someone like me to hear it today. (You can watch the whole message here, including worship by the band.)

This weekend I have felt a sense of displacement. It has been wonderful to spend time with people who have known me so well for so long- but constantly realizing we are all in a new place with different circumstances was heartbreaking. Truthfully, I didn't like all the life change we brought with us- the weight of careers, family, doing actual "adulting"- ugh. Can't we just go to IHOP after the show?

When I spoke to God about this- He reminded me to look for the good. Just as I am now able to see all the good He gave us in the ARLT years- there is a wealth of good NOW. There are wonderful careers blossoming, new relationships formed, several beautiful baby faces and more to come. By God's grace, we are all happily married, still pursing the Kingdom- and THAT is what matters- beyond our physical distance and new circumstances. God has clearly given us a new opportunity to have a sweet season of life- one where He does so much more than we realize. 

I think that's what really hit me today- that I wasn't, in fact, ever on the sidelines. God was much more creative than I made Him out to be- orchestrating something completely amazing in each of us- through the music and the miles- at the same exact time. We were getting to live life together, and as God was using each of us for one focused purpose for that season, He was also preparing us individually for the next. I got all of the benefit- the life lessons, the deepening of my faith- without ever having any of the musical ability. :) 

Thank you, friends, old and new- for being willing to go through it all with us. The stories that God weaves are truly the most beautiful. I see and appreciate all the good God is doing in you and how it blesses my life. Let's press on!

And if you're feeling really sentimental, or have no idea what I have been talking about, go watch their old videos. There is a lot more hair in that footage than there is now :).

it's about time! advent + an adoption update

This owl is our china baby's first ornament on our tree. I pick one out for the kids each year. no- we don't have a name for her yet, so we just call her "our china baby" for now! :)

Today is a day I should be doing so many other things. There are kids' Christmas parties, emails, last-minute Christmas gifts (thank God for those sweet teachers who wipe my kids' noses every day and love them so so well!)...

I've been needing to write an adoption update- and if I'm being honest- I've just been putting it off. I've made myself too busy with other things. But for some reason, in the middle of this chaotic day, I've decided to sit down and write. Why? Because as a counselor once told me, "Lissa, you have to start giving yourself time to FEEL your feelings". Ugh. It would be so much more convenient right now to just keep doing all the things and not really think about all those silly emotions. (sarcasm- can you tell I am a DOER by nature?)

However, I am excited to share where we are at in our adoption process right now. We have been logged in to China for 4 months now. Liv will turn 1 in just a couple of months, and that is a special date, not just because it will be her 2nd birthday (which is a miracle in and of itself), or that we will be welcoming a new niece into the world (my little sister, Layne, is pregnant!), but for another reason. When we sent in our paperwork to China, part of our request was that there be at least a 12 month age gap between Liv and our adopted daughter. It is very rare to see a referral of a child under 12 months in China. Because of the systems and processes there, most of the youngest children are around 18 months- 2 years when they are referred for adoption. So, because of our request, the older Liv gets, the more likely it will be that we get a referral. 

Can I just pause for a minute and tell you how psycho I feel right now?!? Right now a 12 month gap between my two youngest girls seems like crazytown. Like an all-out circus with bits of popcorn kernels shoved all in the cracks. To be honest, this has been one of the biggest areas of attack for me. I know that Satan knows my love for control, and I am aware that I constantly fall into the delusion that I am in control at all. So in those moments of weakness- when I already feel totally unprepared to even parent the two kids that are at home- I panic. How will I ever parent 3 kids? I can't even get them to school on time, much less doctor's appointments! (I know you moms of 3+ are just chuckling to yourselves right now- go ahead, you deserve it!)

But then there is also all that ugly pride that hangs out in the background, like it should get free rent just because it's been there so long, taking up space in my heart. The illusion that all this blessing was all ME. That EVERYONE expects us to be this or that- that I CAN DO and MUST DO it all. Gross. Just makes me want to spit it out.

When you couple the I-can't-do-it panic with the but-I-have-to-be-the-best pride, you get a mom, wife, and child of God with a serious identity crisis. 

And that has been me for the past few months. Mostly holding it together on the outside, while I wonder if we are just straight up insane on the inside. (Bless my sweet friends and family who are consistently patient with me!)

After we got our paperwork to China, I started working on a few grant applications. We have been amazed and in shock at how generous people have been so far. Friends, relatives, and even people we don't know have contributed to our fund. It has been one of the humbling ways God has not only proven Himself and His provision to me, but I know He is working on that old tenant, Pride, as well. 

We totaled up the upcoming costs we have left- and I kid you not- it was still over $13,000.00. This is what it will take to get us to China and back. Some of the fees are simply incredible, and you would be amazed at what little portion of that our agency actually gets. Much of it is travel and other fees that we will be paying to the orphanage, government, etc.

Most recently, we got work that we were awarded a matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. They are going to MATCH up to $3500.00! As soon as we got word, I immediately started brainstorming ideas for fun ways we could raise the $3500.00. We tossed around a few ideas, but after speaking with Lifesong, we found out that we were not to offer any services or products in return for the donations. To be honest, that was hard for me to deal with. As a DOER, I couldn't imagine asking people AGAIN to just straight up contribute to our adoption fund. It would be so much easier to just make something or give my services in exchange. Easier on my pride, that is. The longer I let it settle in, the longer I realized this was a pride issue! So, again, I got to have that I-trust-you conversation with God. And of course, He has been providing just like He said he would! 

If you would like to contribute to the matching grant, just click on the "Donate" button! It is tax-deductible!

Additionally, we have decided to put all the income from my How To Work It workshop toward our adoption until enough funds are raised! This has been a dream project of mine for a while and it has been so cool to start working with the very first attendees this month! Check out more on the workshop HERE.

---

The truth is, He is good. He is faithful. He's made a way. I'm not supposed to be good enough, organized enough, strong enough. He knows our daughter in China. (It's very likely that she is alive and waiting for us NOW!) He knows our future struggles. BUT, I know what He's taken us through to get to this point, and have no choice (logistically or emotionally) but to trust Him with this.

So- for a short synopsis or what is to come:

Within the next few months (anywhere from March-October, we are estimating) we will get a call with a referral from our agency. 

They will give us a file to review, and we will have an allotted amount of time to pray over the file, consult doctors and medical professionals, etc. 

If we say YES, the paperwork will start back up! Hopefully, we will travel 10-12 weeks later. 

It is crazy to think that this time next year our daughter could be home with us- and we could be a family of 5!

There is a large part of me that is ready to not be waiting. I can't wait to know that peace when my heart is not longing for something literally around the world and wondering in expectation if I should be more prepared, what that day will look like when we meet her, what the transition will look like, etc. 

But isn't that what this season of Advent teaches us? Shouldn't I ponder all of these things in my heart, just as Mary did? I'm thankful that I don't have to know all the answers. Thankful for my Savior who has allowed us to be here, on this adoption journey. Thankful for Knox and Liv and the way they bless and refine us daily. 

Thankful for all of you who have taken the time to listen to my crazy and pray for us, give to our fund and truly impact our family's legacy forever. Merry Christmas! 

Do you guys have any questions about our adoption? I would love to answer them and am a pretty open book! Post them in the comments!

milestones

Our baby is growing up right before our eyes. I have to be thankful though- this new season- we were ready for it. Knox can be very shy, and he's a rule-follower like his mama, but over the past couple of years he has really loved going to pre-k and socializing with friends. So, when we dropped him off for his very first day at the "big school", I only had one little I-might-break-down moment. 

He sat at his desk after taking pictures in from of the school, hanging up his backpack and greeting his teacher. I squatted down to say, "You are a man of God and Truett Knox Anglin. You are brave. You do not need to worry. God is close, you can talk to Him, and He will be with you all day". I barely got through the last sentence. 

Knox, on the other hand just said, "I know", and waved goodbye with a smile. And we parents went out to breakfast- because holy free time batman. Liv and I came home to a quiet house and she walked around saying, "Bubba? Bubba?" for a while. I think we will get used to this. :)

Just a week or so ago Knox decided he was ready to ride his bike without those training wheels. It didn't take long and he was wiggling down the sidewalk, but staying up nonetheless. By the time I got my camera out, he had even perfected the smile as he whizzed by. 

It's crazy to watch your kid grow. I really thought I would hate him getting older, but each new milestone has been amazing. I am consistently taught by my children and my selfless husband. I couldn't be more thankful for my friends at Knox's school who have made the transition so easy for us. I know that was ordained and no accident. I am starting to accept change more willingly in life because I know I'll need to depend on the Lord to do it. 

Kids in the Sprinklers

After eating at one of our favorite local spots for dinner last night, we got home and it was already 30 min past bedtime. Despite the fact that the kids probably needed to be in bed, we all ended up on the front lawn- the sprinklers were running and that gorgeous golden light was perfect. I don't think Liv had ever really played with the sprinklers, so it was fun to see her explore that and I'm glad I got my "real" camera out to photograph an everyday moment with my kids. 

I really am so thankful that this is our everyday. We are truly blessed!

I thought I'd share my camera settings for you guys who may be interested. I recently purchased a Nikkor 28-70 2.8 lens and I LOVE it. It's not as expensive as it's newer, fancier version, but it's perfect for what I need. I love my prime lenses, but I had a feeling I was missing out on some crucial moments while I spent time changing lenses. So, this lens was the perfect solution. I recently shot an entire wedding with JUST this lens. (Shawn was still working our "usual" lenses the whole time, though). So, I might be a little obsessed. :)

ALL IMAGES:

Nikon Df, Nikkor 28-70 2.8 lens, ISO 400

I shoot in RAW all the time, and had to bring up the exposure in Lightroom at least one stop, so I should have had a higher ISO to begin with- 800 or 1000 would have been a safe place to start, considering all the movement I was capturing and the setting sun.

I also used the VSCO Kodak Gold 100 for the color images and my own B&W Preset for Lightroom on all of these.

Photo info is below each image. :)

65mm, 3.5 1/160, ISO 400

48mm, 3.5, 1/160, ISO 400

28mm, 3.5, 1/160, ISO 400

50mm, 3.5, 1/250, ISO 400

70mm, 3.5, 1/250, ISO 400

56mm, 3.5, 1/200, ISO 400

52mm, 3.5, 1/200, ISO 400

28mm, 3.5m 1/200, ISO 400

50mm, 3.5, 1/200, ISO 400

35mm, 3.5, 1/200, ISO 400

So what do you think? Did you like seeing my camera settings? Have any questions? Let me know in the comments!

a letter to liv on her 1st birthday

Sweet Liv, 

You turned one year old last week. I can hardly believe it. Though I feel like I should be mourning your baby-ness, I am too busy enjoying your sweet little toddler-ing self. 

We had a little donut-themed birthday party for you, and it was pretty sweet (get it?!? Sorry, the Mom jokes will never end- just accept it now). You were precious, hardly fussed (if at all), and everyone enjoyed seeing and holding and playing with you. Friends showed up and family drove in- all for a party you will only remember through pictures- but what a special party, and special people who all love you very much. I am positive that all of the faces we saw that morning were the same people who prayed for your existence long before you were ever created. 

So, we had a celebration! There was sugar. A lot of it-- and coffee, though you mostly stuck to the sugar. 

Certainly not our best family photo, but we are all in it, and that is the main thing...

When it came time to blow the candle out, you didn't bother with any of that blowing stuff and proceeded to just smash that flame out with your hand. It's so typical of the way you like to do things. There was a slight pause as everyone waited to see if you'd cry...and then you just said, "Oooooooh..." with your lips puckered as you stared at the smoke. Haha. You surprise me so and I love your style.

Of course, big brother needed to "help" you unwrap all of your gifts and then decided which ones you should play with first. Among lots of other wonderful gifts, you received a custom-made "walker" (complete with tennis balls) and a handmade Princess Leia headband (you can thank your brother's Star Wars obsession and your Auntie's ingenuity for that). I'm not sure it gets better than that as far as 1st birthday gifts go. And this year, you have Halloween on lock.

Lately, I've nicknamed you "Velcro" because you've been quite....well...clingy to me. But honestly, I know I will miss it someday, so there is always a part of me that is thankful that you want me to hold you. I wished to be holding you for a long time, so it only seems right to be doing so- even if it's kind of all day long. 

After the party wound down, I found you playing with a deflated balloon in the kitchen. I honestly think that was the most fun toy you played with all day. Of course! Haha. You make me laugh with your grunts and growls- the more excited you become, the more you start to sound like a tiny noise factory that just can't get all the sounds out fast enough. 

You have impressed me so much, tiny girl. You started walking just days before your first birthday, and now you are getting around pretty quickly. You are determined, quick to smile, quick to cry, loud, sweet, and I think you have inherited your Daddy's resilience and generally happy demeanor. God knew just what we needed. 

Liv Caroline, good times never seemed so good. We love you!

my littles

Time goes so fast. Last week I realized Liv was working on crawling and I had not yet photographed her even holding her head up. So, miraculously, everyone was in real clothing...and I took a few quick photos of the kids. 

This girl...6 months old in just a few days. Her expressions always crack me up. They are just so full of life and excitement. I feel like she has such a fun-loving personality already.

Thank goodness for headbands. Just like her mommy, she doesn't have much hair. It's there, but you can hardly see it, haha- which has made me more adamant about getting something on her head.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed the bump on the top of Liv's head. It's something she was born with, called a hemangioma. Apparently, they are pretty common- especially in girls. It was tiny in size when she was born but has grown in size and height in the months since. Hemangiomas tend to shrink away on their own eventually (they usually start shrinking around 1 year of age). There are says we think it's shrinking, and days it looks like it's growing- which is crazy, because it can- it is literally a collection of extra blood vessels. 

I really don't mind talking about it at all- sometimes it seems people are afraid to ask- in fact, it's been the funniest to see kids react to it. Knox calls it her "polka dot" or her birthmark. It's totally touchable, and yes, it will bleed just like any other part of skin if touched, but so far it has really been a non-issue.

Poor Knox. Already mildly annoyed at posing with his sister, who loves him oh-so-much.

This kid. If it were possible for me to love him more since having Liv, I do. On the hard days, he's been my helper, giver of hugs, forgiver of a distracted mommy, an excellent cartoon-watcher, and just so smart. 

Goodness I love these babes. So different. So amazing to see life through their eyes- I hope I get to for the rest of my life!